Tagged: relationships

Revision at Fallen Home

we took his couch,
some tools, to help
evacuate belongings

we took his cords

the garden too
has been demolished,
though the hummingbirds
return for the turk’s cap
along the fence

they go from stagnant,
to blistering, which
feels familiar

one transcendence
to another
a tourist in each

thinking about heading back

but pulled out
by color, certain
red halo

brilliant against
old footage
a poppy, a war

in many ways I feel
that we knew each other
before

we must have done

the way you identified
my mouth
like a plant from home

and I know your hands

and I fear so capably
your loss, as if
it has happened

Thirty

I was standing in line with you
when I passed out, fainted
I guess, and woke up
on the floor

I remember feeling
guilty, like I had overslept
and how different
you looked

appearing over me, like
a mother, or a god
both perfect
and impatient

my elbow hurts – I realize
I must have fallen on it
you say I may have fallen forward
if it hadn’t been for you

how lucky – I am grateful
– I am weak – I am
let down gently – I am
long to see

the security footage
in which your calmness
plays out like a silent film
in which

the faces of the embarassed
become everyone, black
and white, at each moment
assigned a time

SWAT

woke up drenched again, not
dreams, not raining, who knows
– there’s a resiny
imprint of me
on my mattress –

I go through what I ate
when, the withdrawal symptoms
of things like caffeine
pot, what I’m wearing
sleep positions, if
I should shower before

maybe my matress is a valley
my blankets roads
I overheat, sweat
become cold, pull them up

to wake unsure
where the water came from
if it’s water at all, or just salt
if while sleeping, I’ve
been swimming, and
barely made it back to shore

Orion

If you lay in snow
and I lay in snow
even with the same moon
as headboard, the electricity
wouldn’t travel, the water
too densely packed
I feel that way today
Both in our underwear, separately
in the city. You walking
from Planned Parenthood to yoga
Me having worn
the wrong clothes to work
now bathing in the spillway
We have no gas for water
We named a cat Fuel
Each man presents
his best self, the
6-month awoken blood stem
You unlock something in me, he says
It was not there before
You make me want to be
a better man
A star falls on
the roof of the Whole Foods
Limp herdling, fallen star, by
definition not that great
of a star, but hot enough
Men burn their tongues
try to recall
what they were doing before
just to have you say it
have you pull it out
The long steel draw
approachable temperature
a star just being friendly
holding it
lighting their eyes
But stars are forever away
maybe they have already died
Hollow pots in headphones
reading, crying
fillable with dust
White hot rage. That is why
boys chase girls
We just can’t take it anymore

& Countless Other Things

        in my room there are four praying
mantises, two tarantulas, one puppy,
        two people

        matter is neither created nor
destroyed, but some things are small enough
        not to exist until culminated

        sex flicked off tables,
fingernail plate armor, dust bunnies,
        the occasional bird

        squirrels who gnaw 
the owl box
         back into the trunk

        the tree that fell so we
could stand before it, thinking
       through tunnels

        addressing dead starlings,
the consecutive order of ants,
        whether or not

        we should have seen it coming
upright decay on which
        we strung lights

        instead we watched it going
wilting & sopping
        but still holding up dinner

        for us, as much as anything
to get drunk & watch come
        creatures returning with tape

        inseparable to the earth
as if nothing could be greater
        than to be put in its misery

7-10

I run more when I’m single. I         dig holes in my skin
as if something might pupate         & emerge
I would like to be         more inwardly motivated
so my heart won’t come out black         in a rocky
bed. I’m consumed by         how much
it doesn’t hurt. Does that mean it hurts?

Lime Rinse

maybe I never
in the first place

jelly down a sea of me
me me me

me as I changed
into me again

over and over
over? it continues

through sleep
I am pulled down

tighter, so that you
can be stitched up

I am upside down to you
therefore, to me